It's no secret that men absolutely adore women. However, it's no secret either that sometimes women do things that drive men insane. Countless books, such as the critically acclaimed "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus," have been written to shed light into the myriad of differences between the two sexes, especially in a cross cultural relationship. But one in a while, something still happens to ignite this long-standing battle of the sexes. Outlined below are the five biggest turn-offs for men, their causes, and what can be done about them to ensure a better, smoother relationship between men and women. These tips from Loveawake dating site are designed to minimize conflict and help women be attractive to men by answering the question, “How can I find a man?” Avoid these five turn-offs and you're off to a good start!
- Playing mind games or creating drama.Though there are plenty of ways to bring excitement to a relationship, creating drama is definitely not one of them. Potentially volatile topics, such as asking for too many details regarding his past (TIP: It's in his past for a reason. Let it stay there, unless you're in a hurry to become a part of his past as well,)will only get the relationship off to a bad start and create negative vibes that could become the seeds of many arguments down the line.
Simple things, such as taking a long time to prepare to go out, is another drama-causing factor. It's understandable that we women would like to look our best when out on a date, as it shows how much we value our companion. However, did you know that taking too long to prepare for a date is a fast way to not be attractive to men? We should also be mindful to value his time. Men are punctual and systematic by nature, as this is how they show their date how much they value her company. Naturally, it is this clash of values that causes friction in a relationship. Something easily avoided by being on time.
Another common cause of relationship drama is jealousy over platonic friends. News Flash: they were there before you ever came into his life. There's a reason they remained his platonic friends and you became the significant other: he simply just doesn't see them "that way." Skip the mind games ("Them or me? You choose.") And you'll come across as confident and self-assured - traits that will help you be attractive to men.
Men are problem-solvers by nature, hence their natural aversion to needless histrionics. If you show him that you are capable of creating win-win situations, it will go a long, long way towards a successful relationship. Along with following the tips on dating for women in this article, communication skills are the key: if you find yourself feeling like throwing a tantrum to get your way, pause and re-evaluate your strategy. By talking things through, you begin to build a strong foundation based on respect and trust.
- Making him pay for everything. Chivalry is a sweet concept, and most men certainly wouldn't mind treating a lady during the courtship stage. However, after a few dates, do offer to contribute as well. Remember, chivalry stops feeling manly past a certain point, after which men start to wonder if they're being played for a sucker. Keep the conversation light and friendly during the first few dates, as this will set the tone of the relationship and help you be attractive to men. Avoid asking him how much he makes. The last thing you'd want to be thought of is a gold-digger, a definite turn-off!
- Jumping the gun. Dating is a process where both parties get to know each other better to see if they are compatible for a long term relationship, maybe even marriage. Think of it as an audition or a screening process before landing the big, life-changing role. Men have long held a reputation for being commitment shy (and with good reason too!), But pressuring him with questions such as "where is our relationship headed?" is bound to scare him away even more. Keep the “how can I find a man” questions on hold for the time being. Focusing on the end goal too early takes the fun out of the whole dating process and implies that the woman isn't secure enough with herself, seeking a commitment from a man she doesn't even know yet.
Think of dating like baking a cake: if you use more heat than needed, in the hopes of halving the baking time, you'll get a cake that's burnt. It's the same deal with a guy. Jump the gun and you'll end up burning the relationship instead of prolonging it.
- Being a control freak.Men are big picture oriented people, sometimes seemingly glossing over the small details when they do things. Women, on the other hand, are exceptional when it comes to dealing with the meticulous intricacies of a given task. These two mindsets often clash with each other, leading to men believing that women create additional stress by sweating the small stuff, while leading women to believe that men simply just don't care enough to do it right. More often than not, this ends up with the woman stating that she "has to do everything around here," leaving the man with a bruised ego and driving him absolutely nuts.
Ladies, always remember that just because men do things differently doesn't mean that they're doing it wrong. After all, they're problem solvers by nature and would love nothing more than to get it right the first time. Simply acknowledge the difference in methods, but don't feel compelled to "steer him in the right direction" all the time. Trust him to come up with correct results and you might even be pleasantly surprised. It'll help you be attractive to men because he'll appreciate the vote of confidence and work doubly hard to ensure that it gets done right.
- Monopolizing his "guy time."Like women, men are social creatures by nature. Just look at any sporting event, bar, or poker night, and you'll see groups of men generally having a great time together. This does not mean that they enjoy the company of women less, just that men sometimes enjoy doing "guy things" more with other guys. This is not a sign that your relationship is inadequate, nor should you ever attempt to curtail his nights out with the boys. As long as it doesn't involve losing a small fortune gambling or hanging out at a strip club, there's nothing wrong with allowing him some space to allow your relationship to grow. Who knows, the stories he comes back with might even make for amusing conversation. Just ensure to keep things reasonable: always agree on how much "guy time" he gets and how much "girl time" you get, and stick to it. Your graciousness in acknowledging the other aspects of his life will go a long way into making him look forward to coming back to you again.
And there we have it! If at first, these tips on dating for women sound complicated, don't worry. We women are wired differently from men, after all. But with a little practice, and some conscious effort to be mindful if we are guilty of these five turn-offs for men, you'll soon master what it takes to be attractive to men. Give it a try, and see if you still need to ask yourself, “How can I find a man” after applying these tips into your love life. Good luck!